It's my birthday!

Ok, here's my obligatory birthday post, I wanted to do it tonight since I'm busy tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my 18th birthday, quite the milestone. I'll be an adult: I can vote, smoke, go to college, get arrested, all that good stuff. But really, its just a new starting line, a checkpoint if you will. Being an adult is what I've been training for my entire life up until this point, but its really just the beginning of what my life will look like.

Looking back, I've really grown a lot in these past 3 or 4 years. The places I've gone, the friends I've been blessed with, and the ways I've spent my time have all influenced me and made me into the person I am now. And honestly, there's very little I would change. There's so much I have to be thankful for, and God has blessed me in so many ways.

Of those numerous blessings, I am absolutely most thankful for my friends and my family. I'm so blessed to have people I can talk to when I'm sad or worried, people that I can feel at home with, people that I can share a meal with, and people that I can text when I'm lonely. My friends and my social life have helped me to expand my horizons and step out of the introverted boundaries I had set for myself those few years ago.

And I am so, so thankful for my parents. Every step of the way they have loved me and supported me in everything I do. In my hobbies, my career options, the choices I've made, they've always been supportive. Not once did I hear, "No, you shouldn't be a psychologist, or a counselor, or a nurse". They never said, "You should do something besides write, or compose music, or play video games". And when they did forbid me something, I always knew there was wisdom behind their decision and I respected it. I still respect their wisdom, and I always will.

So in sum, I have more things to be thankful for than I could count in a day. And I'm incredibly grateful for my friends and for my family. Every one of you has had an effect on my life, and there's nobody I consider a friend who I don't cherish. So thank you all for helping me become the person I am today. Here's to being 18!

Sociology Discussion: Do Violent Video Games Lead to Violence?

This is a forum discussion from my Sociology class. I though it applied particularly well to me, and thought I'd share my thoughts. It's a bit of a rant though, since I have a strong opinion on video games in general.



"Do you or people you know play violent video games? If so, what impact, if any, do you think this activity has on your or their thoughts and feelings?"

Not only do I know many people who play violent video games, but I myself play violent video games on a regular basis. First, however, I want to make a quick clarification about violent video games. My assumption is that when most people think of violent video games, they think of two games in particular (or variants thereof), namely the Call of Duty series and the Grand Theft Auto, which deal with realistic war violence and and realistic criminal violence respectively. These games, while realistically depicting violence, carry a number of warnings and suggest that the players be mature and over the age of 17. Too often, parents and/or children neglect these warnings.

I primarily play video games that are set in a fantasy setting and set reality aside. Their violence deals with swords and magic as opposed to guns and cars. This doesn't mean the games are less violent, but the authors take care to maintain a sense of fantasy in the game. I think if these games have had any impact, it has been positive. I have many fond memories that revolve around video games and sharing them with my friends. As far as my psyche is concerned, I don't believe I'm any more violent a person because of video games. I do enjoy my martial arts and whatnot, but that's a part of my personality, and not a result of video games. And, as far as grades are concerned, I've been an A student my entire life, and am currently writing a discussion for a college class as a 17 year old dual enrolled homeschool student. My thoughts and feelings toward violence are sensible and rational: obviously murder, rape, and any other form of violence are wrong. I have my moral, rational, and legal barriers. However, violent video games are simulations; the key is to use discernment and moderation, as in all things.

"Would you allow your children to play violent video games? Why or why not?"

Eventually, yes. However, I will not let my 10 or 11 year old play a game designed for an adult. I want my children to play video games and share in the experiences I grew up with. When I believe they have reached an appropriate level of maturity and discernment, that is when I will consider letting them play more violent video games.

"What do you think policymakers should do with the regard to the controversy over the effects of playing video games?"

What controversy? I believe the allegations against video games are preposterous and are excuses for immoral behavior. We as a society seek to place blame where it is not due, whether that is guns, the government, or violent video games. As I said, there are already measures taken to insure that only appropriately aged persons play gratuitously violent video games, specifically, the ESRB rating system, which was designed in order to help with violent video games. If a child is playing a violent video game that is not for him, that is a burden on him on his parent. If an adult is playing a violent video game, then he or she is responsible for their own actions.

I think the "controversy" about violent video games is utterly foolish, and a vain endeavor to draw attention and place blame. Humans are corrupt, depraved, and responsible for their own actions. I strongly believe that violent video games are not the cause for any murder or killing spree or whatever else we choose to blame on them. They are a source of entertainment, and are no more or less violent than any other violent book, movie, or TV show. Violent video games do not lead to violence.

Papers: "Stereotypes" and "Inventing a Religion

As I start my final Sociology paper about Urban Legends, I'll my post my other two here. The first is a paper about stereotypes that uses "Godzilla" as its basis. The second was my attempt at inventing a religion based on American society.

Note: These are college papers. I talk openly about some adult themes, so just a heads up.

Tim Wong

Smith

6/5/14

The Monster in our Midst

            Whether we care to believe it or not, it is a fact that stereotypes have permeated every fiber of our American society. Everyone has some assumption or misconception about a group, society, or culture. Music, movies, and literature have all perpetuated and nurtured these stereotypes into the subtle behemoths they are today; stereotypes about race, gender, occupations, and ideologies are all nested quietly in the backs of our heads. While there, these stereotypes slowly shape and malform our ideas about the world. Rather recently, the movie Godzilla was released in theaters. While a movie about a supernatural Japanese monster may not immediately strike someone as a movie about stereotypes, stereotypes are certainly present. In fact, Toho’s Godzilla movies have historically featured strong stereotypes, primarily those of a brash military, the arrogance and ignorance of mankind, and our view of nature, and all of those have carried over into this newest variant of the Godzilla formula. Through an examination of these three stereotypes throughout the movie Godzilla and its predecessors, I will show that stereotypes are not only prevalent in America, they are dominant.

            Our military is subject to many assumptions and stereotypes most of which, regardless of whether they are positive or negative, stem from the media’s representation of our soldiers and armies. Movies like Saving Private Ryan or Band of Brothers give a harsh but heroic view of our soldiers; we have learned to look up to them, to support them, and even to glorify them. In fact, the practice of supporting and praising our troops and veterans is common, if controversial in America. However, Japan portrayed their military differently in most of the Godzilla films. In most scenarios, the nation was faced with a monstrous danger: a Kaiju. That is, a giant and supernatural monster, such as the reptilian Godzilla, or the three headed King Ghidorah. When faced by this massive threat, the military immediately seeks to destroy it; in this year’s Godzilla, our American military tried to wipe out the rampaging monsters with a nuclear bomb. The immediate desire to resort to radioactive weapons is a stereotype directed towards our military, but also towards America itself. Many other countries view us as violent and arrogant. However, resorting to nuclear weaponry and mass destruction was a concept used just as much in the Japanese Godzilla films.

            In these older films, the giant monsters featured were always challenged by the Japanese military, whose futile attempts to stop them were always shrugged off. Originally, in the very first Godzilla movie in 1954, this military action was viewed as heroic; the rampaging monster was finally defeated through the use of the terrifying “Oxygen Destroyer” and reduced to a skeleton. However, as the movies evolved, Godzilla transformed from a wild beast to a savior of earth, a force of nature that sought to defend its planet from anything. And so, when mankind tried to destroy this new Godzilla time and time again, it became an act of arrogance. What is man that it should seek to destroy the forces of nature that defend it? This same question was brought up in the new Godzilla film, where the creature is once again shown as a force of nature, and a savior of earth. Despite its rampaging and destructive nature, it defends the humans from monsters that would have been an exponentially greater threat than itself. When Admiral Stenz approved the use of nuclear weapons to destroy the monsters, my initial thought was that the American military was incredibly foolish and arrogant. These thoughts, if not checked, quickly turn into long lasting stereotypes. Similarly, the capture and containment of the MUTO brought to mind images of arrogance; we seek to control and manipulate that which is not ours to control.

            All the Kaiju featured in the Godzilla movies, whether good or evil, are either forces of nature or manipulated by forces of nature. This is a theme that is perpetuated throughout the movie Godzilla and is summed up when Ken Watanabe’s character iconically says, “The arrogance of man is in thinking that nature is in our control, and not the other way around. Let them fight”. In saying this, Ken Watanabe not only affirms that man is indeed arrogant, he is stating that man is no match for nature. When two forces of nature collide, it is best for us to step back and let them be. However, this statement reveals two more stereotypes, those being that humans either seek to obliterate nature, or hold an awed reverence for it. Both of these apply to the movie Godzilla. While the American military seeks to destroy the monsters, the rest of the world comes to view Godzilla as a mighty force of nature, one that cannot be controlled and that ought to be respected.

            In summary, Godzilla features three powerful stereotypes, namely the rash violence of the American military, the arrogance of man, and man’s conflicting view of natural forces. These stereotypes have been prominent in Godzilla movies for the past 50 years; those movies have shaped the minds of many in regards to the military and man, and have influenced many stereotypes. If I were to judge America based solely on its representation in this most recent Godzilla movie, I would say that our government and military, while seeking the safety of our people, are too prone to violence and wanton destruction. I would also say that mankind is arrogant, foolish, and irreverent. And finally, I would conclude that the powerful forces of nature override class, gender, and race. Regardless of who you are, what you are, and where you stand in society, nature will still run its course. I believe that this is notion is important to consider; American media places too much emphasis on exploiting, balancing, and or fixing the myriad of stereotypes that have been built around race, class, and gender and have dominated our minds. Our society is so focused on political correctness that we forget about the world around us. While we will not necessarily be attacked by giant monsters, the concept that nature is greater than we are still applies. We are simply cogs in the wheel of time. The true monsters are the stereotypes that have crept into our everyday lives. And so, I return to the words of Ken Watanabe. The arrogance of man, since we truly are an arrogant race, is in thinking that nature is in our control. When we realize that we are in nature’s control, our ideas of race, class, and gender suddenly seem less important. Our stereotypes are the true monsters, and we will not be able to simply wipe them away with nuclear weaponry. If it is possible to eliminate stereotypes at all, it will be through much time and effort; they are the monsters in our midst.

Tim Wong

Kerri Smith

6/12/14

Examining Our Idols

            Inventing a religion is no easy task, especially if one already adheres to another religion. I am a devout Christian, so this paper will be particularly interesting for me; I must approach the topic from a very cautious position. And, as a Christian, I already have guidelines for myself; all my ideals are already in place. So, instead of creating a religion that is designed for me specifically, I will instead create a religion that is designed around modern America.  This religion is based on what I believe to be America’s three greatest aspects: Pleasure, Power, and Prosperity. What separates it from other religions, and makes it so perfect for the American mindset, is that one need not change much in their life in order to conform to it. Its central principles are individualism and relativism; the world revolves around everyone, and everyone revolves around me. Its guidelines are simply to continue in one’s everyday life, but everything they do is “worship”. The only rituals it requires are those we perform every day, such as eating or sleeping. It is based on comfort and individuality. So, through an examination of America’s most prominent aspects, Pleasure, Power, and Prosperity, I will create Americanism: The Modern Pantheon.

            The first set of “gods” are those focusing on Pleasure. There are four gods of pleasure. They are Libida, Gulus, Lacertus, and Proclivitus, and each focuses on a way that Americans find comfort or pleasure. Libida is the Goddess of Sexuality and love. She represents the sexual mindset of America, namely the idea and effort to expand on the concept of “sexuality”. She embraces everyone regardless of their sexual proclivity since she herself is pansexual and a shapeshifter. She also revels in the darker sides of love, such as adultery, divorce, and prostitution. Gulus is the god of Gluttony and Excessiveness. He loves food, and so do all of his worshippers. He also loves excessiveness in all its forms, whether that applies to food, money, or kittens. His dark side is his reign over the majority of physical disorders, especially those related to food like Anorexia or BED. Then, there is Lacertus, the god of Physical Training and Appearance. Lacertus represents bodybuilders and jocks throughout America, and has dominion over exercise, yoga, and any other form of physical training. He hates the fact that he cannot sit with the gods of power, so he trains endlessly in an attempt to join their ranks. His training is so intense that he disregards most other aspects of life, and his obstinacy only pushes him further away from the gods of power. What he doesn’t realize is that power is more than physical strength or attractiveness, and that misconception falls to many of his followers as well. Finally, there is Proclivitus, the god of Addiction, Substance Abuse, and the Underworld. His worshippers are those who are addicted to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, or any other addictive substance. When he is not in the Underworld enjoying his substance of choice, he is in America, and mingles with humans more than any other god. Since his followers need to be addicted to something, he is constantly getting drugs and alcohol into the hands of those who least need it.

            The next set of gods are those of power. First is Proelius, the god of War and Conflict. He is the one who sits in the minds of presidents when they make the order to launch a nuclear strike or attack another country. Like the Greek god Zeus, Proelius would be considered the leader of this pantheon, and is the father of many of the other gods and demigods. He was with the pilgrims that first founded America, and instigated much of America’s early bloodshed, such as the Revolutionary, Civil, and World Wars, as well as the oppression of the Native Americans. Second is Genus, the god of Assimilation, Immigration, and Civil Rights. Genus is the one that is constantly incorporating new aspects of other countries into America, such as food and vocabulary. He is always trying to get on the good side of the other gods; he brings Gulus new foods, Proclivitus new drinks, and is especially interested in pleasing Libida. As such, when it comes to “civil rights”, he is particularly supportive of those she agrees with, such as homosexuality or feminism. He is cautious and deceptive by nature; he knows that if he is not careful, he will find himself outside of America and unable to return. Then there is Tempus, the Goddess of Time and Technology. Tempus is the God who manipulates your sense of time when having fun or working. She is also constantly discovering and creating new technologies and placing their seeds in the minds of inventors. However, Tempus can also be quite lazy, since she has all the time in the world. Unfortunately, this sense of laziness can also spread to her genius followers, who have significantly less time than her. Finally, there is Diatriba, the goddess of education. Diatriba was once the most intelligent of all the gods besides Sensus (the goddess of intelligence). However, that changed when Tempus came to her with the idea of a public education system. Diatriba readily accepted and implemented the idea, but both she and America seem to have been worse off for it. Diatriba’s mind has been slowly and surely failing, and she now spends most of her days frivolously with Gaudia (the goddess of Adolescence and Luck).

            The third and final set of gods are those of Prosperity. Laborus, the god of Work, Careers, and Money is a workaholic in every sense of the word. He works tirelessly and is easily the most prosperous of all the gods; he has accumulated more wealth than even Materia, who is the goddess of Material Wealth. However, he often finds himself bored and always tired. He has more money than he could possibly spend, and has nothing left to spend it on. Materia is the goddess of Material Wealth and the wife of Laborus. She puts his money to better use and is constantly acquiring more goods. In fact, the other gods tend to look down on her for hoarding, and Laborus has to constantly watch his money. Then, there is Sensus, the Goddess of Intelligence and Innovation. When Tempus is sleeping, Sensus is there to inspire her followers, many of which also worship Sensus. Additionally, many of Diatriba’s old followers, those with genius minds but no proper education, turn to Sensus as well. Finally, there is Gaudia, who has dominion over Adolescence and Luck. Gaudia is the one who organizes all the parties and revelries that keep the other gods entertained. She is actually quite prosperous, but her prosperity does not necessarily flow down to her followers. However, there are a few of her followers that have great natural ability and can succeed in life regardless of whether they whittle away their days in revelry. As they mature from adolescence to adulthood, they step out of Gaudia’s wing and seek out Tempus or Diatriba.

             This pantheon caters to and was constructed solely for the American mindset. Obviously, this means that it excludes anything or anyone that is not American. However, America is a country that is fairly welcome to outsiders, and it is very possible to join Americanism if one is willing to become “American”. In creating Americanism, I primarily drew from the Greek, Roman, and Norse Pantheons. Some of the gods have stark similarities to other Greek or Norse gods. For example, Proclivitus draws from both Hades and Hermes, and both Libida and Genus have characteristics from Loki. Americanism sums up what it means to be American; this modern pantheon is designed to revolve around each individual. But at the same time, it just goes to show how corrupt our society truly is. And so, I end with this central principle of Americanism: the world revolves around everyone, everyone revolves around the gods, the gods revolve around me, and I revolve around the world. This encapsulates the two primary aspects of Americanism, which are individualism and relativism. I believe that the scariest part of Americanism is that, in essence, it already exists. Everything in Americanism is simply a part of America; the worshippers are everyday citizens, and the gods are our own depraved minds. This religion ought to be a warning to America; let us open our eyes and look at what is important to us. Let us examine our idols and rethink our lives. 

            

Article: Christians, Relationships, and the Friendzone

In light of recent events and some icky situations that have come up recently, I want to write an article with some friendly advice for my peers. As I see it, young people, teenagers in particular have way too much fun in gossip and playing the "he-said-she-said" game. There's nothing wrong with this, but it has potential for harm; relationships are a very serious business, and stirring up trouble before the time is right is a benefit to no one. As Christians, we have a responsibility to be God honoring and loving in everything we do, and that especially applies to teenagers. At our age, it is very easy to stray, and we need to constantly place God back at the forefront of our minds. If you are having problems with a relationship or rumors or gossip, then your first step should always be to stop and pray. Talking with your parents isn't a bad idea either. For me personally, my parents are my greatest support in many matters. Additionally, if you're serious about someone, then consider all of the factors. Are you ready? What are the consequences? Would it hurt your friendship with that person? And of course, bring all these questions to prayer as well.

Finally, I want to say a quick word about the friendzone. For those who don't know the friendzone is "A situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom as an unreciprocated romantic interest in the other. This is not a bad thing. Often, having a strong friendship is better than having a weak crush. But, while one should be careful in disturbing a friendly relationship, they shouldn't be afraid of stepping up. We cannot know other people's minds. And again, pray about this. I can't emphasize enough that God should always be first; as with everything, if we try too hard to accomplish something on our own, we will lose sight of God and stumble. 

I am not condemning anyone. In fact, I want to be available for anyone to come and talk to. I'm certainly not an expert, but sometimes it helps just to talk. I hope this article gives you some things to think about; even if you're fine right now, remember that, inevitably, a time will come when you face your own romantic trials. Remember above all else that you can do everything through Christ who strengthens you, and that without him you're nothing. Pray. Talk to your parents and close friends. And, most importantly, trust your Savior. 

Paper: Deviance in Film

I recently had my first Sociology paper returned to me; I received a score of 100, along with some glowing praise. And, since my paper talked about X-Men: Days of Future past, I decided I would post it here.

The assignment was to talk about deviance (aberrant behaviors that are frowned upon in society) in film. Days of Future Past happened to be an excellent example, and I gave some of my thoughts on the movie as well. Do be warned, this paper has several major spoilers for the movie, so if you haven't seen it yet, then pass this article by. I will also likely post my next paper here soon, which is about Godzilla.

Tim Wong

Kerri Smith

5/29/14

The Means to an End

In every society, there are a number of deviant behaviors that are condemned by its people. However, these behaviors are often dramatized and even glorified in media. America in particular tends to emphasize violence, rebellion, and sex in its movies, books, and video games. I recently watched the movie “X-Men: Days of Future Past”, and while I thoroughly enjoyed it, I did notice that deviance is a central theme in this movie and its predecessors, especially the movies “X-Men”, “X2”, and “X-Men: The Last Stand”. In “Days of Future Past”, there are several characters that display deviant behavior, but one in particular stands out. Erik Lehnsherr, also known as the mutant villain Magneto, displays the common deviant behavior of rebellion, seeking to combat the American government in order to exact revenge for his fallen comrades. Through an examination of the application of the strain theory, the expected reaction to Magneto’s rebellious behavior, his implied status at the end of the film, and the forms of social control that are presented, I intend to show that Magneto’s portrayal of rebellion in “X-Men: Days of Future Past” is, while supernatural, an accurate representation of deviant behavior today.

            Of the four theoretical perspectives presented in Chapter 8 of “Sociology: A Down-To-Earth Approach”, I believe that the strain theory, specifically the status of rebel, best applies to Magneto’s behavior. In the beginning of the movie, he has been imprisoned for what the audience believes to be his assassination of John F. Kennedy. He had supposedly done this in order to take revenge for the members of his brotherhood that had been tortured, experimented on, and then killed by the American government. However, we later learned that he was trying to save Kennedy, not kill him; in a sudden plot twist the audience discovered that Kennedy was actually a mutant, warranting the aid of Magneto. Nonetheless, Magneto displayed a number of other rebellious behaviors throughout the course of the film, including attempting to kill President Nixon, failing to kill another mutant named Mystique, and unleashing death on a crowd of American citizens in the form of robots called Sentinels. Despite doing all this for what he believed to be the greater good, Magneto was displaying incredibly rebellious behavior, to the point where he may even be considered an anarchist. Magneto is a rebel because he seeks to replace the oppression of mutants in America with a more tolerant system, and intends to do so through violence. In addition, he had been persecuted and harassed for most of his life because he was a mutant; his desire to create a more tolerable world stemmed from his treatment earlier in life.

            However, despite this rebellious behavior and his master status as a villain, Magneto has garnered support throughout the course of the X-Men films and many have reason to believe that his actions, while morally reprehensible, are not without good cause. In the first three X-Men movies, the primary theme was that mutants were treated as unequal; they were not only oppressed but hunted down as well. While this theme was hinted at in “Days of Future Past”, it was not fully realized since America was not aware that mutants existed until later in the movie. The master status of mutant is comparable to other prejudices today, such as race or sexual orientation. In a similar fashion, Magneto represents the rebellious and extreme faction of mutants in the same way that there are those who represent feminism or homosexuality with zeal and passion. More often than not, these radical and rebellious representatives tend to give their cause a poor name instead of improving relations; Magneto would have ushered in an age of war and death if he had killed Nixon, while the sparing of Nixon’s life by Mystique brought about an entirely different and more peaceful outcome: a world were mutants were treated respectfully instead of being hunted down. Due to the villainous actions of Magneto, I believe that he is, in fact, displayed unsympathetically. Murder and genocide, regardless of their justification, are rarely cheered by the American people.

            At the end of the movie, Magneto, having failed in his attempt to kill President Nixon, flies into the distance. The implication is that he will go forth and create his Brotherhood of Mutants in order to continue in his goal of creating a cleansing war between mutants and humans. In one reality, that of a dystopian future where mutants are hunted and killed, Magneto has failed to create peace between mutants and humans. Instead, his actions have brought about a one sided war; he is forced to ally with his old enemies in order to ensure the survival of the remaining mutants. However, in the new reality shown at the end of the movie, one where mutants live peacefully, he is not present. There are many conclusions that one can draw from his absence, but the assumption is that his rebellious behavior led to either his imprisonment or death.

            Both of these outcomes are examples of the two types of social control exhibited in the movie. Initially, Magneto is confined and placed under heavy guard in the Pentagon because he was accused of murdering President Kennedy. Additionally, a number of other mutants are captured and experimented upon by the American Government. This imprisonment is designed to keep the mutants under surveillance while allowing for future scientific examination and experimentation. However, the central goal of the movie is an attempt to rewrite history in order to prevent the mass genocide of the mutants. America’s secondary solution would have been to create robotic sentinels designed to hunt down and kill every mutant in existence. This genocide, while ridding the world of potentially threatening beings, would also kill many innocents and, eventually, create a dark and dismal future where many humans are killed as well.

            In summary, Magneto is a violent and radical character who, according to the strain theory, displays a wide variety of rebellious behaviors including murder and genocide. Despite the justifiable reasons behind his actions, he is displayed unsympathetically, and is ultimately presumed dead or imprisoned; these two outcomes are examples of the two methods of social control used in the movie. “X-Men: Days of Future Past” is a movie about time travel, giant robots, and people that can control minds. However, despite these supernatural factors, I believe that it is an accurate display of deviant behavior. Magneto represents many deviant figures who, while not always resorting to war, murder, and genocide, often display radical rebellious behaviors. Feminist, homosexual, and racial groups all have figureheads that represent them through rebellion in an attempt to gain support and respect. Martin Luther King Jr., Julius Caesar, and even Adolf Hitler are all examples of leading figures that exhibited rebellious behavior, not on account of their morals, but because they sought to radically change their government. In the same way that Magneto represents these figureheads, the oppressed mutant population represents the various groups that suffer prejudice. Hence, I believe that the oppression of mutants shown in the movie and its predecessors is an example and analogy for the oppression of many groups and societies today. However, the movie also shows that the end, however righteous, does not justify the means of deviant behavior. Is it wise to follow the sanctions of society even if it means injustice and oppression? Is the correct path to justice rebellion, or are there better means? What are the consequences of rebellious behavior? “X-Men: Days of Future Past” may not answer all these questions, but it’s excellent and accurate portrayal of rebellion through Magneto does grant insight into what would happen if deviant behavior was taken to the extreme.

Article: Psychology and the Christian Worldview

As many of you know, I'm dual enrolling and recently started my summer term in college. I'm taking Introduction to Sociology and General Psychology. Both of these classes and their content pose particular challenges to me in the sense that they clash with my Christianity. I just wanted to say a few things about that, as well as give a warning to anyone else in school or college who is or will struggle with this.

Psychology is based on science and the scientific method, as well as the theory of evolution and natural selection. As Christians, we cannot believe in a sovereign God and the theory of macro-evolution at the same time. So why am I taking Psychology? It's so that I can learn my opponent's worldview, his stance so to speak. As in any good debate, it is important to understand both sides of the story, while still remaining firmly rooted in one's own beliefs.
Psychologists are also supposed to be rooted in skepticism. While this isn't necessarily bad, it will not apply to every area of a Christian's life. While we certainly need to be cautious, I don't believe a Christian can be a true skeptic.
We also have to think about our success in a class; what's the best way to do well in a class and still remain faithful? I believe the best option is to cater to the teachers and students in the class. That is, to write and say what they want to hear. However, it's important to do so without deceit.

So, in summary, when taking a class like Biology or Psychology where the teachers and students are likely rooted in evolution and natural selection, the goal is to learn about their worldview while remaining very cautious not to lose sight of God. It's important to remember that we are all sinners; don't assume that your faith is so strong that it won't be challenged. There will be professors who are fluent, eloquent, and persuasive. Finally, I want to say that these classes are not the prime battlefield for combating evolution. As tempting as it may be, it's probably better to just go along with it and say what the teachers want to hear.

I hope this is helpful, I just wanted to get these words off my chest. As I progress through the class, I may write more about interesting ideas and topics presented in these classes. If anyone else has been or is in a class like this, I'd welcome any other comments or advice!

Paper: The Curse of Conflict

I just finished my English II final this morning and received the score for my last paper in the class as well. I got a 95, which is fantastic, and I thought I'd share the paper here. It's an analysis of a poem called "Song of the Powers" by David Mason, which I will post below. I'm very happy with the paper, since I got to talk about war and stuff.

Song of the Powers

By David Mason

Mine, said the stone,

mine is the hour.

I crush the scissors,

such is my power.

Stronger than wishes,

my power, alone.

Mine, said the paper,

mine are the words

that smother the stone

with imagined birds,

reams of them, flown

from the mind of the shaper.

Mine, said the scissors,

mine all the knives

gashing through paper’s

ethereal lives;

nothing’s so proper

as tattering wishes.

As stone crushes scissors,

as paper snuffs stone

and scissors cut paper,

all end alone.

So heap up your paper

and scissor your wishes

and uproot the stone

from the top of the hill.

They all end alone

as you will, you will.

 

 

And here is the paper.

 

 

Tim Wong

Russell MW 8

4/28/14

The Curse of Conflict

            Humans are fickle creatures; they are corrupt, tainted, and bitter. Conflict and war, while occasionally fading into the background, will always surge forth again. The nature of war is summed up subtly yet simply in the game “Rock, Paper, Scissors.” A deeper look into the game is given in David Mason’s poem “Song of the Powers,” a relatively short piece that examines the mind of each object and how it relates to the other two. However, there appears to be an even deeper meaning to the game that not even Mason fully realized: the game “Rock, Paper, Scissor” is a reflection of the nature of human conflict and war as shown in both the words of David Mason as well as the ideas and implications one can draw from the poem. The isolating nature of power, the hidden attributes of each object in the game, and the never-ending cycle of war are all themes in the poem that require careful examination in order to fully understand.

            The primary idea that Mason presents in his poem is that power isolates. Each object has its own unique strength and, subsequently, its own weakness. In the game the stone is greater than scissors, which is greater than paper, which is then greater than the stone. In the first stanza of “Song of the Powers,” the stone says that it is “Stronger than wishes / my power, alone” (5-6). The first of the lines shows that the stone, through brute force as suggested when it says that “I crush the scissors,” is stronger than wishes and plans (3). The second line hints at Mason’s theme of isolation. The paper smothers the stone “with imagined birds, / reams of them, flown / from the mind of the shaper” (10-12). Finally, there are the scissors, which are constantly “gashing through paper’s / ethereal lives” and shredding its wishes to shreds (15-16).

            When one examines the poem’s individual elements, it is much easier to see its message as a whole. At the end of his poem, Mason says that the stone, paper, and scissors “all end alone.” This would indicate that each individual object, through the defeat of its opponent, stands by itself at the end of the day. This isolation is the goal of the game itself; the player with the mightier object wins but wins only to stand alone. However, there is a deeper meaning that can be taken from the poem. Each object represents a particular strength that is linked to conflict and battle. The stone represents brute force, the paper represents the strength of the mind, and the scissors represent reality. The stone, through pure strength, can overcome the logic and probabilities that the scissors present. In much the same way, a commander with enough willpower and determination can emerge victorious from a situation that would have appeared one sided beforehand. An example of this would be the battle of Red Cliff, also known as the battle of Chi Bi. In the battle, which took place towards the end of the Chinese Han Dynasty, the combined forces of Liu Bei and Sun Quan battled the armies of Cao Cao, which were more than twice as large as their own. However, through will, courage, and a dash of advantageous weather, the two leaders managed to defeat Cao Cao and forced him to retreat. However, the stone’s weakness is that it can be either dissuaded or smothered by paper’s words and wit. On more than one occasion, potentially devastating battles have evaporated because of one persuasive speaker. Other times, brute force and will were defeated through tactics and strategy. However, these are things of the mind, and the harsh reality that is represented by scissors too often rips them to shreds. The scissors are things of logic and probability; they are plans, numbers, and truths. But once again, these things are often conquered by the will, strength, and determination of the stone.

            This leads back to the idea that those who wield power, whether it is born out of strength, intelligence, or logic, will eventually stand alone. This idea is the binding element in Mason’s poem. He states that “They all end alone / as you will,” indicating that just as the stone, paper, and scissors find themselves isolated at the end of the day, so will we (27-28). This isolation is also a result of the simple yet vicious cycle of war. After the battle of Red Cliff, despite the victory won by the joint forces of Liu Bei and Sun Quan, the two leaders eventually parted ways when Zhou You, one of Sun Quan’s greatest commanders, died. This left Sun Quan greatly weakened and of no more aid to Liu Bei. Even if the paper smothers the stone, it will eventually be scattered to the wind by the harsh reality of the scissors. It is a never-ending cycle; war will exist for as long as man is on this earth.

And so, we can see that “Song of the Powers” is not only a story about how power isolates, but a symbol of the vicious cycle of war. While Mason may not have originally intended for his poem to represent this constant struggle his words certainly give that implication. What at first was a simple children’s game was personified through the words of David Mason. What at first was a simple personification of a children’s game is now shown to be a critique, whether intentional or not, of the eternal cycle of war and the curse of conflict.

           

Article: My Top 10 Game Franchises

I'm a gamer, no doubt about that. I've been playing video games for most of my life and there a many that hold a special place in my heart. In this article, I'll list my top 10 game franchises, and will include specific examples of games I've played and why they're on the list.

10. Paper Mario

The Paper Mario games have just about everything I could ask for in a game. They're funny, charming, they have excellent music, brilliant stories, entertaining characters, and are fun to play. I was first introduced to Paper Mario through the Gamecube game "Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door," which I thoroughly enjoyed. I later bought the N64 game, known simply as "Paper Mario," and enjoyed it about as much as Thousand Year Door. The third game, which was for the Wii, had very different gameplay, but I enjoyed its story and characters almost as much as the previous two. I have not yet played the most recent game, but look forward to it.

9. Civilization

The Civilization games are what introduced me to strategy games (and to a lot of world history). They're complex, fun, and educational to boot. Having played 3, 4, 5, and a number of spin-offs like Revolution and Colonization, I would have to say that 4 is still my favorite. The Civilization games also feature an active modding community, which makes any game exponentially more enjoyable in my opinion. I should also mention that I have a signed card and a picture from Sid Meier (who in response to my letter informed me that he is indeed a Christian), both of which are treasured possessions.

8. Star Wars: Battlefront

Another game with an excellent modding community, Star Wars Battlefront was the method by which I grew to love shooters, and also the reason I grew to love PC gaming. And speaking of the modding community, Battlefront 2 is hands down better than 1 for me. Why? Because of a little mod called the "Total Conversion Pack 2". This mod pack not only restores all of the classic maps, units, and game mods from Battlefront 1, it adds in an entire new set of maps and units from Knights of the Old Republic, as well as some miscellaneous mods that fill out the movie factions. It's essentially 3 games in 1.

7. Dynasty Warriors

I was first introduced to Dynasty Warriors relatively recently in comparison to the other games on this list; when I first played Dynasty Warriors 4 I was awed by the idea that I could play a game where I send hundreds of opponents flying through the air as a single warrior. The games receive a lot of critique in the West, but I personally love button mashers and everything that goes with them. However, my favorite game in the series has to be Dynasty Warriors 6: Empires. The game not only has the epic action that is common in the franchise, but also includes a well sculpted character creation system, and some excellent diplomatic and empire based gameplay.

6. The Elder Scrolls

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim was one of very few games that immediately wowed me when I had never seen or played any other games in the series. Swords, magic, dragons, all in a massive and immersive open world! It was the game that I never knew I wanted, and still play it regularly today, in part due to the fact that Skyrim, as well as Oblivion and Morrowind have huge modding communities, which keeps even the older games relevant and fun.

5. Dota 

Dota 2 is quickly becoming not only one of my favorite games, but one of the most popular games worldwide. You may have read my article on it a while back, about the championship that was held at Gamescom. Since 2011, there have been many more tournaments, and the number of people that play Dota 2 have increased exponentially. Dota 1 had been around long before Dota 2 was ever dreamed of, and had a large fanbase of its own. I'm excited to see where Dota 2 will go, and how it will further affect the worldwide gaming community.

4. Super Smash Bros. 

Also known as the only fighting game I'm really good at. But I am pretty good, probably because I've been playing Super Smash Bros. since I was 6. Super Smash Bros. was Nintendo's dream game: throw the best Nintendo characters together in an arena and have them duke it out. What more could you ask for? Even now, the world eagerly awaits the release of Super Smash Bros. 4, and they certainly won't be disappointed. Super Smash Bros. Brawl was a game that I watched with anticipation for years, and was easily one of the most appreciated gifts I have ever received in my life.

3. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team was one of the first games I played for Nintendo DS, and Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team was one of the last games I played for the gameboy advance. Both were amazing, and I don't think there's anything I didn't like about them. The soundtrack in particular has remained comfortably nestled in my memory. Explorers of Time and Darkness, the second generation of Mystery Dungeon games only improved on the design of the first games. My appreciation for the story in both generations of games is rivaled only by the story in Knights of the Old Republic. However, to my regret, the most recent entry was very disappointing for me, and was nowhere near as good as the previous ones, although it did have some interesting ideas. I still have hope for the series, and regardless of whether any future games live up to the legacy presented to them, I will be playing and replaying Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games for a long time. My favorite game has to be Explorers of Sky because of the great selection of starter pokemon and updated gameplay elements.

2. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Story, music, gameplay, characters, mods, these games have it all. KotOR 1 not only gave me a love for role playing games, it was also what catapulted me into the Star Wars extended universe. While the story for KotOR 1 is far superior, I personally like KotOR: The Sith Lords better because of the gameplay elements introduced and the better selection of mods.

1. Pokemon

I love Pokemon. There's not much more to say than that, Pokemon has been around about as long as I have, and I've been playing the games for almost my entire life. I have bought or played almost every single game in the franchise, with the exception of a couple Pokemon Ranger games, Pokemon Trozei, and a couple of the older GBC games like the Trading Card game and Pinball. I could make an entirely new list for my top 10 favorite pokemon games, but I'll say with some uncertainty that my favorite is Pokemon Ruby. I still believe that Gen 3 probably feature the best games in the series, including Pokemon Coliseum  and its sequel, Pokemon XD.

Well, that's my list. Honorable mentions include Kingdom Hearts, Harvest Moon, Terraria, Super Mario Sunshine, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, and Rune Factory, all of which are significant to me in one way or another.

Song of the Day: Trap - Aero Chord

Song of the Day: Adiemus - Cantus Inequalis

I like beautiful music, I really do. I've listened to Adiemus before but only recently heard them again and remembered how amazing their music is. Enjoy!

Review: Free to Play

Recently, game company Valve released a documentary called "Free to Play" which covered the events of the 2011 Dota 2 tournament at Gamescom as seen through the eyes of 3 Dota players: Dendi, hyhy, and Fear. Being an avid Dota fan myself, it was only a matter of time before I sat down to watch it. I quite enjoyed it; I found it not only entertaining but educational as well. The documentary was a glimpse not only into the lives of these players and their teams, but also into Dota itself and the future of competitive and professional gaming.
After watching it, I thought a lot about what competitive gaming is and could be. I'm realizing that being a professional gamer, especially in an arena as complex and dedicated as that of Dota 2, is becoming increasingly popular and lucrative. It would seem that in the near future, someone could make not only a stable but prosperous living off of playing competitive games; the team that left the tournament with $200,000 each will certainly agree.
One line that stuck with me is (roughly) "Competitive Dota is everything except an Olympic sport at this point." There are striking resemblances between competitive Dota 2 and other professional sports. For example, as Jeremy Lin said in the documentary, Dota 2 is very similar to basketball in that both are comprised of two 5-man teams that utilize skill and teamwork in a variety of roles to conquer their opponents. The simple difference is that one prioritizes the body over the mind and the other prioritizes the mind over the body.
Finally, I want to touch on the subject of whether people who don't know anything about Dota 2 will be able to enjoy or understand the documentary. As a Dota player, I think I enjoyed it more than someone else might; I know what "team fights" are, where the "jungle" is, and how to "last hit". However, I think that while someone who doesn't play Dota may not enjoy the documentary as much as I did, they will still find it more insightful. Its more than just a story about Dota, its a story about the life of a competitive gamer and the future of gaming as a whole.
For those who are interested in watching the documentary, you can watch it on youtube for free. A word of warning, it does contain a bit of language.

Eternal: A Short Story

I had quite a bit of free time over spring break, and took the opportunity to write a short story based on a vivid dream that I had had. A rough version of that story is below, for your reading pleasure and criticism. The story is 5,393 words long.

Eternal

               

It was New Year’s Day.

It was my wedding day.

I leapt out of bed; I was so excited that I could hardly breathe. My heart pounded as I threw on my clothes rushing to the bathroom as I did so. I wasted no time in brushing my teeth and shaving, taking care not to cut myself; it wouldn’t look good if I showed up to my wedding with a gash on my cheek. Mere hours later, I found myself in front of my beautiful bride proclaiming those two beautiful little words, “I do”. I was so happy I thought my heart would burst, and I swear it almost did when I kissed her. It was a simple, but wonderful kiss. Then, after what seemed like seconds, I was carrying her through the threshold of my home. It was a simple place in the suburbs; nothing spectacular to look at; its grey walls and slated roof looking weary after only a few years’ worth of age. However, it would serve its purpose as a fine home for my family. She told me that it was beautiful, poring over my meager selection of art.

I had three paintings. The first, which was positioned on the wall so that you could see it as you walked in the door, portrayed a white wolf, a sword in its mouth. The wolf was looking towards a mountain in the distance; wind and snow seemed to swirl around it, and trees towered above it, retaining their great presence without diminishing the majesty of the wolf in any way. The second piece showed a great red serpent on a shadowed background. Its mouth was closed and its glimmering azure eyes seemed to peer into one’s soul; despite being a simple painting in and of itself, the amount of detail was quite simply stunning. The final piece showed a man in golden armor with a huge sword slung over his shoulder. He was stepping out of a cave and his hand covered his brow to protect his eyes from the sunlight, as if he hadn’t seen it for a long time.

Each piece of art was a treasure of mine, and was thoroughly examined by my wife before we retired. She said she liked the one with the soldier the best, and that it reminded her of me.  We tried to cook a meal of salmon and white wine, but since neither of us had any real skill in cooking, it didn’t come as any surprise when we tasted the bitter flavor of charred meat upon sampling our creation; we wound up ordering Chinese take-out instead, preserving only the wine from the remains of our previous attempt at a meal.

The weeks passed, then the months, and soon I was in the hospital holding my newborn son. He was such a beautiful creature; so soft and fragile. Tears welled up in my eyes when it dawned upon me that I had been instrumental in creating that wonderful child, and I handed him back to his mother as I wiped those tears from my eyes. She smiled at me and I stooped to kiss her, and then glanced again at my son. I told him how amazing he was, and that he would grow up to be a great and brilliant man. He responded by letting out a cry, and the doctors shooed me away so my wife could get some rest.

Some weeks later, as I was preparing dinner for my wife and son, I heard the doorbell ring; I turned the heat to low so my stew wouldn’t burn and went to the door. I peered out the window; upon seeing two police officers I immediately opened the door, asking if there was any problem. The first man, who was a bit shorter than his companion, said there was no problem and explained to me that they had found a pup on the street. They heard from a neighbor that I was a doctor and wondered if I would be willing to care for it. I then noticed that the other officer was holding a puppy; it seemed to be a mixed breed, and even had some wolfish qualities, but its most remarkable feature was its bright white fur, which seemed to glimmer in the moonlight. I replied that I would take it, but would likely wind up taking it to the pound in the morning since I had a newborn son to care for. However, my wife had other plans, and told me that it would be good for our son to have a companion growing up.

I invited the officers in for a drink, and they gladly accepted, quietly closing the door behind them. I cautiously set the pup down on the couch; it couldn’t have been more than a few days old, as it struggled to walk over to my wife. It reached my son, warily sniffing him. After a few seconds, it let out a yip and licked his toe, causing the child to release a bright giggle. We all laughe and I brought our guests into the kitchen for beers.

Years passed, and my family and I led a happy life. It seemed like my son was always smiling, his joyous face brightening up every room he entered. It wasn’t long before he was walking, and soon after that he began to race the dog. Our yard lent little room to run in, but that didn’t stop the two from wearing themselves out each day. The pup would often run around with my son’s toys in its mouth, eager to play for as long as it could. We lived a happy and quiet life, that much was certain. I was also very happy with my work; as a doctor I was constantly helping and healing people, which is as edifying a job as any I can think of.

One day, when my son was about six, I woke up and realized that I had fallen asleep at my clinic. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, but I always wound up feeling annoyed and rather irritable. I opened the window; the sky was dark and I figured it was close to dawn, not too far away from my opening hours. I opened up my email on my smartphone to see if anything important had come up. There were only a few promotions, but as I was scrolling down my wife texted me a picture of our son. He was lying on the couch with our dog and both were asleep. I smiled.

Before much more time had passed, a young man opened the door to my clinic. He seemed to be in his early twenties, and his clothing and appearance suggested that he might not be living in the best conditions. He explained to me that he had a dull pain in his wrist, and that it had swollen up. It was obvious that it was a sprain. As I spoke with him and explained what he should do, he seemed to be staring off into the distance, a blank look on his face. I asked him if he was alright and if he was listening, and his eyes snapped back to me. He smiled, a sad smile, and replied that he was fine. Then, he said something very strange. He said that he was tired of doing the same thing over and over again. It didn’t make any sense, and I asked him if he meant his wrist. A puzzled look came across his face for a second, but was quickly replaced by another small sad smile, as if he had remembered something long forgotten. He then told me that it wouldn’t be long and abruptly left the clinic. I called for him to come back, but by the time I reached the front office he was already gone.

As evening approached I decided to go to the nearby mall for dinner. The food court was right at the entrance, making it quite the convenient stop for an easy meal after work. As I was waiting in line to order sushi, I heard a strange noise in my ear. It was a hissing sound, much like that of a snake. I turned my head to see two gleaming yellow eyes staring into my own, two eyes that were set in a broad head, the light of the cafeteria reflecting of its glimmering crimson scales. I let out shout and fell back; in front of me was a red serpent that was easily as tall as I was. It slowly slithered along the ground towards my head and I lay there paralyzed in fear. I looked to the man who was behind me in line, but he wasn’t moving. It didn’t even look like he was breathing, but my attention quickly returned to the snake when it opened its mouth.

I closed my eyes, prepared to be struck by its vile fangs, but instead of feeling pain, I heard a voice. It was a calm, soothing, female voice. It told me that this “cycle” would soon be over, and apologizes for what she needs to do. I grow confused, but the serpent suddenly jabs her fangs into my neck. I expect to feel pain, but I feel nothing. Suddenly, I stand up, but I know that it isn’t really me. Somehow, my body is moving without my minds consent. The man who had been frozen behind me asked if I was alright, and my mouth replied that I was fine, I had simply slipped. My legs moved forward steadily, and then my mind went blank. The next thing I saw was my wife sleeping next to me in my bed. I felt calm, and realized that nothing strange had happened, I had simply gone to get dinner. I felt something pulling at my mind, as if there was something important that I had forgotten, but I decided it wasn’t important and closed my eyes.

3 more years passed before another odd event occurred. It was a cool evening, and I was walking down the street with my son. We had just finished watching a movie about a knight and a golden dragon; we discussed which parts we like best while walking toward a nearby ice cream parlor. Above the entrance was neon sign that read “Heaven’s Way Yon”. It looked as if the last word was meant to be “Yonder”, which made no more sense than the present name. But the ice cream was good, which was all that mattered. I got mint chocolate chip, and my son got strawberry.

As I ate my frozen treat, I listened to a conversation two young men were having behind me. They were discussing the current state of the government, and one said that he would be willing to join with “them”. I imagined he meant the meager movement that was developing; it was supposed to be some kind of resistance seeking to overthrow the current government and establish a new and supposedly freer system of rule. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to disrupt society in such a way. The common man was, in general, happy and well fed; these weren’t the dark ages.

I put my napkin in the garbage and rose to leave the parlor. As I opened the door, I heard a voice behind me say, “Dad?” I was confused for a moment; why would anyone call me dad? Then I realized I had a son, and had almost left without him. Panicked and confused thoughts ran through my mind as I returned and took my son by the hand and led him out with me. How, and why would I forget my son? It didn’t make any sense, but it was as if for a moment I had forgotten he had existed.

Another year passed, and I was in bed with my wife on New Year’s Eve. I marveled at the fact that tomorrow would be our ten year anniversary. Had I really been married to such a wonderful woman for ten whole years? Had I? It seemed almost too hard to believe. I glanced at my clock, which read 11:59. I should probably get some sleep, I’m going to have a big day tomorrow; my wife will be expecting something special, I just hope the dinner I have planned will be enough.

…reset…

It was New Year’s Day.

It was my wedding day.

I leapt out of bed; I was so excited that I could hardly breathe. My heart pounded as I threw on my clothes rushing to the bathroom as I did so. I wasted no time in brushing my teeth and shaving, taking care not to cut myself; it wouldn’t look good if I showed up to my wedding with a gash on my cheek. But as fate would have it, I did cut myself, right on my chin. Swearing, I threw my razor aside and grabbed a towel to cover the cut. When it stopped bleeding, I washed my face again and went out to my car. When I got stuck in traffic, it seemed as if my day was only getting worse. To my great distress, I wound up arriving late to my own wedding, and my wife was already waiting for me. I ran up the aisle, and watched as she solemnly walked up after me. I was furious; this wasn’t what was supposed to happen, I was supposed to have a perfect and happy marriage!

Then, as my wife stood in front of me, she smiled, and I was hit by a wave of déjà vu. Something about her standing in front of me with that wonderful smile on her face felt intensely familiar; I could have sworn I had been there before. But this was the first time I was ever married, I couldn’t possibly have been there before. A moment later, I said “I do”, and kissed my wife, still feeling an unshakable sense of déjà vu. However, by the time we arrived home, it was gone.

When my son was born, it was the happiest day of my life. Tears welled up in my eyes when it dawned upon me that I had been instrumental in creating that wonderful child, and I looked to my wife with a huge grin. She smiled nervously and beckoned for me to return him to her. I told him how amazing he was, and that he would grow up to be a great and brilliant man. He responded by letting out a cry, and I handed him back to his mother. The doctors then shooed me away so she could rest.

Some weeks later, as I was preparing dinner for my wife and son, I heard the doorbell ring; I turned the heat to low so my stew wouldn’t burn and went to the door. I peered out the window; upon seeing two police officers I immediately opened the door, asking if there was any problem. The first man, who was a bit shorter than his companion, said there was no problem and explained to me that they had found a pup on the street. They heard from a neighbor that I was a doctor and wondered if I would be willing to care for it.

I then noticed that the other officer was holding a puppy; it seemed to be a mixed breed, and even had some wolfish qualities, but its most remarkable feature was its bright white fur, which seemed to glimmer in the moonlight. I replied that I would take it, but would likely wind up taking it to the pound in the morning since I had a newborn son to care for. My wife agreed, saying that she didn’t need another youngling to care for. However, when I set the puppy on the floor, it ignored my son and bounced over to my wife, letting a little yip of delight. She then let out a bright laugh and said that maybe keeping it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I turned and thanked the officers for their time and showed them out the door. When I looked back at my family, I saw that the pup was now sniffing my son. It cocked its head to one side, as if examining the child, then returned to my wife. I had a strange feeling, as if I was forgetting something, but I paid it no heed.

One day I was at work and a young man opened the door to my clinic. He seemed to be in his early twenties, and his clothing and appearance suggested that he might not be living in the best conditions. He explained to me that he had a dull pain in his wrist, and that it had swollen up. It was obvious that it was a sprain. When I went to look at it, he stopped me and asked me if I had seen anything yet. His question puzzled me and I asked if he meant his wrist. He sighed and replied that I shouldn’t play; this was the correct cycle and I should begin to see variations. I had no idea what he was talking about and told him as much. He shook his head a little bit and then did something extraordinary. Suddenly, instead of the shabby and worn clothing he had worn second before, he was now dressed in a pitch black suit, with a piercingly blue tie on his neck. Startled, I took a step back, and asked him what had happened. In another blink of the eye, he had returned to his previous form, and then disappeared entirely. Bewildered and rather frightened I looked around for where he had gone, but when I didn’t find him I decided to go and get a drink instead.

As I took another shot of whiskey, the bartender asked me what had happened to bring on this sudden urge. Still being confused, and more than a bit drunk, I told him to buzz off and to bring me more whiskey. He shrugged and poured me another. I went over what I had seen in my mind over and over again, trying to rationalize it, to explain it in some way that I could understand. But I couldn’t ignore the facts; somehow that man had instantly changed his appearance, and then disappeared just as quickly. Maybe it had simply been a trick of the mind, a hallucination. Yes, that was it, I was simply seeing things. That had to be it, it was the only explanation. With my mind slightly eased, I decided it was finally time to leave the bar. Either way, I decided to keep these events to myself.

I considered going to the mall for a quick dinner, but decided to return home to my family instead. As I drove home, I suddenly realized that I was still somewhat drunk. But it was too late; I might as well keep going. Besides, there was no one on the road; what could possibly go wrong? As the thought ran through my mind, bright lights suddenly appeared before me and I swerved to the side, but the car slammed into my side. I must have immediately lost consciousness, because the next thing I remember aside from a few hazy images was being arrested for DUI and manslaughter. The next day I called my wife and tearfully explained to her that I wouldn’t be coming home for a while.

I spent New Year’s Eve still in prison, imagining what my family was going through. They must be ashamed of me, just as I was ashamed of myself. How did this happen? This was going to be my ten year anniversary! I was going to make dinner tomorrow, buy a bottle of fancy wine, maybe go out to a movie; I’m such a fool! I don’t want this, I don’t need this! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! Wait…how it’s supposed to be…I feel like it’s supposed to be different, like something about this is wrong. What time is it, 11:59? I feel horrible, what a way to start the new year.

…reset…

It was New Year’s Day.

It was my wedding day.

And something was wrong.

I felt excited as I got out of bed, but I had a strange feeling in my stomach, as if I had done this before, or felt this before. This was my first marriage, but this excitement I had seemed incredibly familiar. The sense of Déjà vu intensified as I stood in front of my bride and said, “I do.” I was so happy, but at the same time I was confused; I couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow this had happened before. But how? How could I possibly have been here before, been married to this woman before? It was impossible, wasn’t it?

Later that night, I had a dream. Or, at least I thought it was a dream. A huge scarlet serpent slithered around me, climbing up my body until its bitter tongue tickled my temple. In a sultry voice, it asked me if anything strange was happening. I replied yes: I had a feeling that this had happened before. She then said that maybe it had, and slinked away.

My daughter was born later that year, and for the first time that year, the constant déjà vu that I had been experiencing finally dissipated. Tears welled up in my eyes when it dawned upon me that I had been instrumental in creating that wonderful child, but as I wiped a tear away, the sense of familiarity fell upon me again. I suddenly felt very frustrated, and more than a little angry; I handed my daughter back to my patiently waiting wife and left the room. I paced back and forth trying to decipher this infuriating sense of repetitiveness; no matter what I did I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had somehow done all this before.

I had considered going to see a counselor several times, but every time I decided not to. Surely they would call me crazy, insane even. But that question remained, constantly knocking against my skull and blanketing my thoughts: was I indeed going insane? Surely this couldn’t be normal. I soon learned that it wasn’t. One night, as my family and I were at home eating dinner, I heard a scratching at the front door. I turned the light on and glanced out the window to see a small white pup standing on my porch, shivering in the frigid weather. I told my wife and at her insistence, I cautiously opened the door to let it in. With a cry of joy, it quickly bounced inside and stood up on my leg. We brought it food, water, and a bed, and it quickly fell asleep. However, before its eyes closed in slumber, it gave my hand a quick gentle lick.

I turned to speak to my daughter when I saw that my daughter was, somehow, my son. But I didn’t have a son, or did I not have a daughter? I suddenly grew very, very afraid, and quickly stepped outside, ignoring the concerned cries of my family. My child runs after me, crying for me to come back.  I run out to the street. I hear the blare of a horn. I see a burning light. As my daughter ran in front of me, I hear myself scream. I-

Where am I? I see nothing. Wait, is that light? No, not light, something else, I don’t know.

“So, you’re finally here.”

                Whose voice is that? A woman? I think so.

                “It took three cycles, but you finally broke out.”

                “Broke out?” I inquired. “What do you mean broke out? Broke out of what?”

                “The system. The program.”

                “You mean like a computer program?” I asked, an odd sense of calm overwhelming me.

               

                “Similar, yes.” The voice replied, suddenly manifesting in the form of a great crimson serpent. A serpent? No, the serpent. Suddenly, memories began to flow into my mind, memories of joy, of pain, and of a bright red snake, its fangs embedded in my flesh. And yet, I felt at peace. “What has happened to me? Am I dead?”

                “In a sense, yes.” The serpent replied. “But at the same time not, because you weren’t truly alive. You are nothing but a once human consciousness trapped inside a prison constructed by a tyrant.”

                As I pondered its words, it was suddenly coiled around my neck, its voice tickling my ear.

                “This tyrant destroyed the human race, choosing to bind a handful of humans in what you might call a computer program. In his arrogance, he enslaved you and everyone else in your limited world to relive the same ten year period over and over.”

                Everything made sense now, my déjà vu, the sense of familiarity, and I suddenly broke out of ignorance into realization.

                “Then, why me?” I asked. “Am I, and why am I the only one that this is happening to?”

                “Because you’re special.” The snake replied, sliding around my body. “You are…chosen.”

                “Then what next?”

                “Now that you have gained this knowledge, it is your fate to destroy this illusion, to break free and recreate humanity, to bring it once again to physical existence. You must overthrow this tyrant, defeat him, and break out of this cage.”

                An inkling of doubt swelled in my mind, but was quickly repressed as I considered the serpent’s words with the newfound revelation of my past memories. It was despicable that this tyrant had confined humanity in such a cruel existence, to trap them in such a meager place; if it was my duty to restore the human race, than I would do it. Something still didn’t feel right though, a seed of worry in my soul, but I again dismissed it.

                “I don’t remember this place, does this usually happen?” I inquired.

                “No.” The serpent said. “You are here because, by breaking past the linear timeline, you died before the system reset. No one is supposed to die before the ten year period is over, otherwise their consciousness would come here, to this blank space, this error.”

                “What about my daughter then? Didn’t she…”

                “This may be hard to hear, but none of the children younger than ten years of age truly exist in the system. They are only data, and did not exist as a consciousness in the previous world. I’m sorry. Now, you must return to the world, but you will have an awareness that you did not have before. You will have your memory of the last three cycles and will retain all your memories from those in the future. It may take many cycles, and you will be beset by the defenses of the system, as well as the faults of your own mind. Over time, however, you may find allies, those who agree with your cause and will aid you in your struggle. In fact, there is one mind in particular who can aid you that I believe you have met before. However, I am bound by the tyrant, and my time here is short; I will not be able to assist you any longer.”

                “Alright, when do I start?” I asked.

                “Soon, one last thing: with your awareness, you will influence the timeline regardless of whether you intend to or not, but the timeline itself my change of its own accord, and it may not always be pleasant. Now, go.” It replied, and I suddenly felt myself flying upward.

It was New Year’s Day.

It was my wedding day.

                And I was free.

               

                Now that I knew what would happen, I had to determine the most effective way to build my strength. Time, energy, there were so many factors to consider. What would be the best way to combat the tyrant? My first step would be to speak to the man with the sprained wrist; he was the only person that I imagined the serpent could have been talking to. I struggled through the first several years of the cycle, always wearing a false mask of joy when I was truly and constantly plotting and calculating. When I finally reached the point when the young man walked through my office, I stopped him before he could even begin. I told him that I had finally gained awareness, that I was seeking aid to overthrow the tyrant. He smiled, and told me that I had a lot of work to do.

I learned later that he was part of the “resistance” that had already been in place in the timeline; I remembered something about such a resistance from later in the first of the past three cycles. The resistance was little more than a weak political revolution, but over the course of many cycles, I molded it into something more. It eventually became a fighting force, almost an army. But our numbers were still so weak. Over time, I grew to realize that ten years was really such a short time; it was almost impossible to recruit those who were not aware of the timeline, and I had to do it over and over each cycle.

Then, the time finally came. It was the final year of the twenty-third cycle after I gained awareness. It was the right series of events, just the perfect amount of randomness that resulted in the perfect opportunities. I had developed a system for maximum efficiency. After I was married, I immediately began to recruit the key members of my resistance, all those who did not have awareness. After giving my speech, which I had over a few cycles narrowed down to a specific few sentences, we would gather in my home. During one cycle I even tried to bring my wife into my plan, but she eventually left me, which caused an absurd amount of bugs.

However, this time around, everything went perfectly. My resistance had grown powerful; we were on the news, on the minds and lips of many in the system, and we were ready. We finally marched on the tyrant’s fortress. Moments later, I found myself finally face to face with the tyrant. Well, figuratively; his face and the rest of his body were masked behind a cloak of darkness, and I saw only a faint silhouette. However, now that I was finally here confronting him, I wasn’t sure what to do.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“I am here to free humanity.” I replied. “I am here to release them from this prison that you have constructed in your cruelty.”

“Prison?” He inquired, his voice layered with a hint of humor. “You lived a happy and peaceful life, one of joy and contentment; I have given you a paradise! And yet you have taken the advice of my service, partaken of its lies. And what has happened? You have corrupted the paradise I gave you, you have marred it.”

“But it was worth it! I will take humanity and return to the real earth! We will be free!”

“You foolish little man, you don’t know do you? There is no earth, it was destroyed. I took you out of a world that your race destroyed and gave you a chance for a new life. But you rebelled against me, just as you destroyed your old world, you are destroying this one.”

“I fought against his words, feebly struggling to combat the revelation that slowly began to dawn on me. “Then why not save everyone! Why only save a few?”

“Why save everyone? You are a corrupt people, who brought plague, death, and destruction to your own planet! All you do is lie and kill and burn! Why did I save any of you is what you should be asking!”

I stubbornly tried to cling to my own ideas; if what he said was true, then what had I been doing these past hundreds of years? Had it all been in vain? He’s shifting slightly, is he looking behind me? What’s behind me? It’s a timer…no! There are only seconds left before…

…reset…

…system corruption detected…

…initiating manual override…

…reset…

…reset…

…error…

Now that you've read the story, I'd like to point out a couple things. The first is that there are supposed to be some inconsistencies, due to the nature of the world and the story. On that note, one criticism I received was that there were many small details that didn't amount to much in the story. In reply to that, the original vision I had for the story was for there to be small details that were subtly affected and changed by the progression of cycles. Also, there are some details that are references to the dream I had, as well as another story of mine. Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed it! Again, your thoughts and criticisms are welcome!